I love Australia

2 x 900iu vials of Puregon? $32.00

The JuJu works again

I’m always so happy to remove someone from my blogroll, because it means they are pregnant.

So this time, we are saying ciao to babyatheend. After trying for more than four years, they are pregnant after transferring three embryos in what was to be their final cycle.

Au Revoir!

Now I need another IF blog to add to the sidebar. Any suggestions?

Breaking out the champers

Because that’s what I do for every failed cycle. This time, I have the Veuve in the fridge, and counting out the change jar should yield us enough shrapnel to pay for dinner at Aria – whenever we can get a booking in the what will now be a rest cycle.

I went for bloods this morning, but didn’t even make it to the phone call before I started spotting. And I just got off the call with the clinic and hcg level was only 3.5 They usually don’t mention it if it’s below 5, but dammit, I HAD a positive test. And it was still showing slightly positive the next day. I KNOW something happened. I am so pathetic I even took the three tests out with me yesterday to get some friends to analyse them IRL.

But whatthefuckever. Tonight, I am going to have a scaldingly hot bubble bath with a selection of expensive fizzy smelly stuff from Lush, I’ll drink my Veuve out of my favourite posh Riedel crystal flute, and I’ll eat a selection of expensive French cheeses. If I can find something unpasteurised, I’ll get it.

And then I’ll cry myself to sleep.

FS appointment Monday. $10 says he’ll put me on a Puregon FET after insisting on a cycle off. Thanks be to ye Gods that I have a leftover pen of Puregon from my last cycle. They aren’t cheap and apparently the clinic won’t cover them for a frozen cycle.

The little embryo that couldn’t

And it didn’t.

Must have been chemical, because I did two more tests this morning and one is completely negative, and the other – the same type as the one I used yesterday, has a tiny whisper of a line that isn’t even worth mentioning. EDIT: just had a look and they both have the faintest line. Much much less stronger than yesterday. From my readings of sites such as peeonastick.com, this is classic chemical pregnancy behaviour.

It was fun being pregnant for a day.I hope I get to do it again, but for nine months.

I totally jinxed myself. I looked at prams online and even went into Seed for a second. Shouldn’tt have bothered. I  let my guard down for five minutes and end up completely jinxing everything.

So sorry to let you all down.

The little embryo that could

 

It’s faint, but at 12DPO, it’s definitely there – and much darker IRL. I have never even had an evaporation line before, and the one fake BFP I had was from POAS when I had Pregnyl in my system, just for laffs, so I’m feeling good about this.

I didn’t want to post about it, because I didn’t want to jinx things, but I have been feeling really nauseous for the last few days, even having a bit of a dry heave yesterday morning.

I blamed it all on the Progesterone, but it’s different to my other transfers. I have never felt sick before, and it was always a bit of a struggle to go the whole 2ww without a vino. But this time, I’m not interested in vino at all. Instant headache. And last night, my partner was drinking beer, and the smell made me gag. YAY!

So anyway, now I have to hope that it decides to stick around. Please!

 

 

Progesterone is a bitch

My second least favourite part of IVF – after the recovery from EPU – is the dreaded progesterone pessary.

I can’t believe I pay $6 per day (Medicare subsidised until pregnancy confirmed, then out of pocket) for the for the privilege of shoving a cone shaped candle up my fanoir and having it melt out slowly throughout the day, in the process ruining my underwear and leaving a nice oily residue on my thighs. Before you say it, no a panty liner (ick) and wads of toilet paper don’t alleviate the situation.

And it’s 35 degrees today in Sydney, so I was wearing a short denim skirt during this morning’s travels – envisage moi, doing a kind of waddle, to avoid developing chafe. Didn’t work. Should probably stick to shorts. And if, by some miracle, I do eventually get pregnant, I get to continue them for the entire first trimester, twice a day.

But aside from the discomfort, the side effects – the mind games – are the real bitch of progesterone supplements.

If you were a natural TTCer, cramps around implantation time, boobs like rocks, funny pulling sensations when bending at the waist, gagging when walking past pet stores and dodgy sushi vendors, and an aversion to wine (instant headache. I had a couple of sips of pinot last night and had to retire before the movie even started) would all be pretty good indicators that you were pregnant. Am I right?

But for the assisted TTCer, these are all part and parcel of the fun times to be had with progesterone. There is no point analysing possible signs, because I get them all.

But as per my previous entry, I have already written this cycle off. I even made an appointment with FS for the Monday following my BT (next Friday) to discuss going straight into FET.

Based on past experience, I imagine he’ll want me to sit out a cycle, but a girl can hope. Although maybe I should wait it out and have a boozy and indulgent Christmas.

What would you do?

Like clockwork

Blogging on an iPhone, so don’t HD hold it against me, mmkay.

5dp5dt and like clockwork I just started cramping. Period style cramps just like my other failed cycles. I think it’s fair to say that Ny any speck of hope I had for this just flew straight out the window.

I was thinking about the little embryo that could, and what a great story it would be to tell a potential child that could have resulted from this cycle – about how they were the battler embryo from a shifty shitty cycle, but I’m really sure it’s just not happening for us this time. Yet again.

And then there was one.

I just can’t get over how different two cycles can be. I’m PUPO right now with my one good embryo from this cycle. The other two were pretty sluggish and the embryologist said not to expect anything to freeze.

So there you go. It’s a relief that I had something to transfer. I’ll be a little less expectant in future cycles. Hopefully I won’t need any, but you know me. Pessimist at heart.

And in other news, even if I don’t get pregnant, I think my last minute idea for a trip to Vietnam was exactly that. Last minute. All the cheap fares are gone, and I don’t think I can bring myself to pay the equivalent for a flight to Barcelona, so I guess I’ll have to contend with a daytrip out to Cabramatta instead.

 

UPDATE: as suspected, neither of the remaining two embryos was suitable to freeze. What a reality-check this cycle has been.

The belly shot that isn’t.

This is what my bloated, distended stomach looks like 2 days after EPU.

And see those side slits, they usually hang loosely together.

The three fertilised embryos progressed overnight, all splitting into four cells. Two are A grade, one slightly fragmented. Fingers crossed that one of them makes it until Monday.

 

Jinxed

Looks like my predictions for a similar result to last cycle were way off the mark. I knew I jinxed myself by putting it down.

10 eggs, but only four mature. Three fertilised.
Hopefully one will make it to Monday for transfer. Last time, five of the seven fertilised made it, so fingers crossed at least one does.

And if they all die, one of the frozens will be used.

Gosh its hard to go from a High Distinction to a Pass, especially considering the physical pain I am in right now.